Because we’re human, we often want things to be different than how they are.
Our brains are designed to always want bigger and better.
To evolve and strive to be the best.
We love feeling productive and doing something to make a difference.
We always want more. better.
So we argue with reality.
We label things that happen as bad things. We don’t want those ones to happen.
Gaining weight. Binging. Even losing a loved one.
“It shouldn’t be like this.” “This shouldn’t be happening.”
But it is happening.
When we argue with reality, we lose 100% of the time.
But what if nothing has gone wrong?
If we really believed that everything that happened was exactly how it should be happening.
If our past was exactly how it should have been to make us into who we are meant to be.
If our current struggles are the exact struggles we should be having.
And the binge we had last night should have happened.
And we should have gained that weight last month.
And we should lose our loved ones.
What if once those things happened, you knew they should be happening instead of telling yourself that something has gone terribly wrong.
I promise. It hasn’t.
It’s happening. It’s reality.
What if nothing has gone wrong at all?
It seems like if we didn’t stop beating ourselves up about the binge, and regretting not spending more time with our loved ones that we would get nothing productive done.
Maybe if we stopped making ourselves suffer and stopped thinking over and over about the binge and stopped making sure we feel worthless, then we would just keep binging.
It seems helpful to argue with reality. To beat ourselves up.
It seems like if we don’t argue with reality, then we are just allowing horrible things to happen.
But I want you to get super honest with yourself. Is it helpful? Seriously, is it?
When you get upset about things that “shouldn’t be happening” do you find yourself in a positive place ready to make a change? Or under the covers finishing the whole pint of ice cream before you even realized you were doing it?
When we beat ourselves up and look at the world like it should be different, that is the time when we make the least progress.
When we love ourselves and what’s happening exactly how it should be, we show up in a loving place. To ourselves and the world.
What if you were willing to look at today through a lens of everything happening exactly as it should?
How would you handle it differently?
That’s where the magic in you will happen.