Being selfish has such a negative connotation.
There is the kind of selfish where you eat the whole pack of cookies when you know that everyone else wants one.
And there is the kind of selfish when you do what is best for you when other people voice their concerns about your choices.
I’m of course talking about the latter.
I am so selfish.
My family and friends don’t like that I often travel, meet strangers on the internet, and say no to my grandma’s homemade cookies. Just to name a few.
They say it makes them nervous and upset.
I know that nothing I do can make anyone feel a certain way. We all create our own feelings for ourselves.
The way they are thinking about me is making them nervous and upset.
I do the things that I want to do and know are beneficial for me anyways.
It wasn’t always like that. I used to try to make people happy. I ate anything someone made and had seconds and thirds because I thought they wanted me to.
I was trying to make them happy. But in doing so, I was making myself unhappy.
I couldn’t even be sure that anything I did could ever make them happy.
And now I’m finally at a place where I can do me 100% and not be worried about how they might feel.
It makes me feel so much better, and I’m able to feel love for myself and for them that is way more real.
Now sometimes I don’t eat dessert with everyone else.
I have commitments to myself, and I choose to put myself first.
Sometimes it makes me a little uncomfortable to be the odd one out.
It might make them feel a little uncomfortable too.
I would also be uncomfortable if I joined in and ate something I didn’t even want to eat.
I just can’t stress enough how important it is for me to take care of me first.
It seems like it’s not beneficial to put ourselves first. It seems like putting other people first is noble and admirable and kind.
But what ends up happening is that no one is well taken care of. We aren’t loving anyone whole heartedly.
When I’m happy and take care of myself first, I show up as a better person.
I’m happier, I feel better, and I am able to make more of a positive impact than I would have if I put everyone else’s needs before mine.
Why would I change who I am to make everyone else happy? Even if I did everything I could for someone, they still might not be happy.
You know that’s true. When you do everything in your power, and they still aren’t happy.
I don’t have the power to make anyone happy. They are the only ones who have the power to make themselves happy.
I do everything I can to make
Think about it.
You are the one interpreting every event and deciding if it is good or bad.
For example, your partner takes you out for a surprise dinner.
You can think “I have the best partner in the world. I’m SO lucky. I can’t wait to enjoy this evening together”
Or you can think “Why are they doing this? I’m not prepared for dinner and I don’t like surprises. They should know that. This is so unusual, maybe they did something wrong. Are they cheating on me and trying to cover it up?”
Our brains have the power to make us happy, sad, mad, or any other emotion. Only OUR brains, no matter what anyone else says/does.
This is why it is so vital that we prioritize our happiness and needs.
Do it because it’s what you want.
Not because you “should.”
Not because they want you to.
Do it because it’s what YOU want.
And it’s not always easy because sometimes people interpret what you’re doing in a negative way.
But the good news is that you can’t make anyone else happy anyways. You’re only responsible for you.
And when you’re happy, you are way better at loving everyone around you.
And if it was even possible for us to make another person happy, coming from a place of love would be the most productive way to do it.
Let’s do hard things. It’s worth it.